I GOT IT! I F*CKING GOT IT!
As of 1144 eastern time the BIRD IS FLYING ?????
The LEDS did not work, nor did the app prompt screen.
I memorized the exact imu calibration orientation sequence before hand from the video in the link provided (got that sequence in my brain now lol). I started the IMU calibration after a nice chill in the a freezer. The app showed the drone in the starting position as always. The LEDs were flashing red yellow green (the same as before starting calibration). I watched the little progress bar go a little, remembering that it would only get so far before timing out.
At about that point i changed to the second orientation... the LEDs remained flashing red yellow green.
BUT i heard a little sound from the gimbal, and i attuned my self to my little Birdie. It sounded like the gimbal was trying to orient itself sideways, but then stopped and readjusted itself to be in line with the birds orientation. The progress bar went a little farther, and with intuition i changed to position 3.
The LEDS remained flashing, but i hadn't errored out yet. So i listened close, and when the gimbal made that little sound i changed to position 4.
The progress bar went a little farther, and i kept listening for that gimbal (god bless that little gimbal). LEDs kept flashing and no change in the app picture still. The gimbal sound happened again so i changed to position 5 (camera pointing up).
Here's where it got real interesting...
In position 5 the LEDs switched to yellow, and the progress bar went farther. I did not hear another gimbal sound for awhile, but because the LEDs changed to yellow i had a feeling to just wait it out. It sat there, the progress bar kept going, and going. I kept getting nervous and wanting to move it but i didn't. It felt like an eternity (was probably 3 minutes, but like a really long 3 minutes)
FINALLY the LEDs flashed to green, and the App woke it's dumb *ss up and the picture changed to show the drone on its back! For only a second then it switched to the upside down position 6. So i switched the drone, LEDs now yellow. A moment went by and the progress bar went basically to the end, the LEDs flashed to green and the app now prompted to switch to position 1.
I complied. Now it ran through the entire sequence a second time, but this time the app worked as normal, and the LEDs also worked as normal. The 2nd time took much less time and it said "Calibration successful, please restart the drone".
With trepidation i restarted the drone, and when it reconnected to the app it said ready to fly. I went outside, heart pounding, sweat dripping down my armpits. It took off without a problem. I only flew for a few moments because i have a lot of trees in my backyard.
With any luck tomorrow when i get off work i can go out into the mountains and fly!
Sorry for the long post but this was a problem seemingly without end. And this community helped me fix it without having to pay for DJI repair ?.
Spread the word to any one else who may be having this RIDICULOUS problem.
Thank you everyone who posted to this thread